I refer to my post on 20 April 2008. I read through my own post and find it I am back to the square. I had walk past 4 corners and here I am, back to the same old spot.
Full of disappointments.. really full of question marks.. Do we need to come to such extend? People often say, the one you trust most is the one who hurt you most. Who can i really trust in SJAB?
Do you all really want to force me to the extend to either really been aggressive or leave the Corps? I find ways to initiate and talk to you people for years. I try to make you all see the views that it take 2 hands to clap. I try to think further for the Corps than we should. I try to tell you where you go wrong. I try to bring solutions and not problems to you. But why is there no one telling me rather than just making casual remarks? I try to calm the Corps down. I try and I try. Have you ever try to talk to me about my problem and asking me try to change?
I changed. I am slowly beginning to be less aggressive and believe more in influencing than commanding. When you are lost, there is someone to guide you in the Corps. When I need a pull and I look behind me, no one is showing me the directions. Someone ask me, do I really need to bear all the problems to myself instead of letting people know? My ans: "coz everyone mention when they come to the Corps they want to be happy".
We are all adults, its a shame. I failed to face this challenge. I might not be able to pass this challenge.
